Wednesday, August 31, 2005

happy birthday...

We recently celebrated mom's birthday.
The kids and grandkids were there.
We had cake and ice cream and presents...

It was really a bittersweet day. Mom was so happy to have everyone who loves her there celebrating her special day, but I'm sure I was not the only one thinking it may be her last birthday.

One of the grandkids bought her an adorable angel figurine. I had to leave the room to wipe away the tears when mom opened it. The angel is holding armfuls of apples...

Mom's condition has not really changed much. She has had so many platelet and blood transfusions that I have lost count. But her blood counts are slowly (very slowly) getting closer to normal, so we have that to be thankful for. She is becoming very depressed because she hasn't had the energy to do anything. We have been taking her videos of the grandkids' sports and school events, but it's not the same.

It's hard to believe that it's been almost nine months since mom was diagnosed.
It's hard to know what to pray for anymore. I've prayed for a miracle so many times. But I also know that we have been blessed with many miracles....

Happy Birthday Mom........


Blogger bravomedic said...

Tell your mom I said "happy birthday." I'll keep you in my prayers.

5:34 PM, September 01, 2005  
Blogger Mama Mouse said...

Oh I so know how it is. Its devastating. How to feel ... what to pray for ... what to think and what to say.

May I suggest something? Well I will, forgive me if I offend.

When I learned my mother had pancreatic cancer I immediately did something I should have done long before. I got a tape recorder and started 'interviewing' her. It was fun for her to relieve her youth and childhood and I got two wonderful things in return.

I got those stories told in her OWN VOICE for me to listen to now that she is gone. And I have those tapes for my sons to listen to also. Video tape would also be wonderful but might not appeal to her as she might be worried about her appearance.

I prayed for strength ... to get through the days ahead. I prayed for strength for my mother to get throught the days ahead. Because I knew that she would not recover I prayed that she would not have a lot of pain and would be as comfortable as possible and have an easy death.

I had a very hard time praying ... like you ... what to pray for became a difficult thing to ascertain. It changed as her illness progressed. I'm sure it will for you too.

I will hold you and your mother and your family in my prayers.

12:27 AM, September 03, 2005  

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(written September of 2005) I have learned much in the last nine months. I have read that ovarian cancer whispers. I say it screams. It just needs someone to listen. The American Cancer Society statistics for ovarian cancer estimate that there will be 22,220 new cases and 16,210 deaths in 2005. This is a death rate FOUR TIMES that of breast cancer.Almost 70 percent of women with the common epithelial ovarian cancer are not diagnosed until the disease is advanced in stage. The 5-year survival rate for these women is only 15 to 20 percent. This is unacceptable. Women need to be made more aware of the symptoms, and doctors need to listen to their patients. Especially when the patient tells them that they fear they have ovca, as my mother did for almost a year before she was finally diagnosed. It’s so sad and senseless when a woman knows the symptoms but can’t get anyone to listen to what she is saying.