Thursday, March 02, 2006

my friend after all......

It's said that time heals all wounds..
I don't believe that time will ever completely heal my pain,
but it is no longer as sharp as it once was...

I'm beginning to be able to think of my mother again. I've stopped 'changing the subject' in my mind when something makes me think of her. I'm no longer as afraid that if I do think of her, I will crumble. I'm allowing myself to see that no one person grieves the same as another. Humans don't follow a formula because another human put it to paper.

Sometimes I remember the sound of her voice, or the touch of her hand on my face. Thankfully, now, those thoughts give me peace.

I don't want to forget my mother, I just don't want the memories to be painful anymore....

I think maybe time is becoming my friend after all....

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi there,

I've wandered over here from Louise's site and just wanted to say hello. My mother had brain cancer and died when I was 21. It was a devastating loss...one that I think can only truly be understood by someone else that has been through something similar. Learning to live without my mother was like learning to live with a huge hole in my stomach. It changes you forever, it never goes away but with time, things DO become easier. Hang in there and if you ever need or want to talk, please email me at rubyred660 at gmail dot com.

-nicole

6:41 PM, March 02, 2006  
Blogger mar said...

I think your mom would be happy to read your post. I am happy for you. Michele sent me your way this morning.

2:01 AM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Viamarie said...

I lost my father 4 years ago and up to this time, I still feel the pain when I hear his name mentioned & I see his things. It really takes a while to get accustomed to their absence. The more I talk about it the more I feel relieved. Maybe you can do the same.

Cheers from Michele's.

3:51 AM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Linda said...

Hi - your story sounds touching, heartwrenching, and painful all at the same time. I don't have enough time today to sit and read it from the beginning (but believe me, it's bookmarked and I WILL). Thanks for posting your kind words on my blog!

5:19 AM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Goodbye Mes Amis said...

Grief, as I know it has no linear path. Time helps, but a simple smell can make it seem like yesterday.
Wonderful site!
Here via Michele.

2:50 PM, March 03, 2006  
Anonymous Susan said...

I so recall those feelings, of finally being able to smile, even through the tears of memories...I'll never forget her, but I remember her less with tears now, and more happiness.

10:57 AM, March 12, 2006  
Blogger Vicki said...

Hi,
I found your blog because you visited mine. I'm sorry that your Mother passed away. You are so right that Ovarian Cancer is a whisper that needs everyone to start shouting!
My mom passed away from cancer (probably ovarian) when I was 9. The physical ache does go away, but there are times when I miss her - events in my life where she would have been a big part, like weddings. Oh and wouldn't I love to have her here now that I have OvCa. sometimes you just need mom.
You have made a beautiful memory for your mother in your blog. Her family's love for her shines through.
As an action note you might want to look at Johanna's Law - it is for education for Gynocological cancers.
Vicki

8:56 PM, March 19, 2006  
Blogger MJ said...

I lost my parents when I was young, and yeah, it takes forever, but the pain really does go away (I didnt believe it at the time, but it does). I think of them every day, the good things...

12:43 PM, April 13, 2006  

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(written September of 2005) I have learned much in the last nine months. I have read that ovarian cancer whispers. I say it screams. It just needs someone to listen. The American Cancer Society statistics for ovarian cancer estimate that there will be 22,220 new cases and 16,210 deaths in 2005. This is a death rate FOUR TIMES that of breast cancer.Almost 70 percent of women with the common epithelial ovarian cancer are not diagnosed until the disease is advanced in stage. The 5-year survival rate for these women is only 15 to 20 percent. This is unacceptable. Women need to be made more aware of the symptoms, and doctors need to listen to their patients. Especially when the patient tells them that they fear they have ovca, as my mother did for almost a year before she was finally diagnosed. It’s so sad and senseless when a woman knows the symptoms but can’t get anyone to listen to what she is saying.

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